


Not Supposed To (Know Me So Intimately)

by CC99trialanderrorgirl



Series: Stucky - Desperately in Love Universe [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: A sexy "fuck you" to Bucky's past, And has a lot of (mostly good) feelings about it, Blowjobs, Blushing, Blushing Bucky Barnes, Blushing Steve Rogers, Brief mention of Peggy Carter, Bucky is sort of a hot mess, Bucky pisses his skinny jeans ok?, Bucky swears a lot, Clothed Wetting, Coming In Pants, Crying, Desperation, Desperation Play, Dom Steve Rogers, Dom/sub Undertones, Golden shower (brief), Human Disaster Bucky Barnes, Intimacy, Love, M/M, Mention of a wedding, Omorashi, Piss Play, Smut, Sort of scene, Sub Bucky Barnes, Subspace, Watersports, Wetting, What Have I Done, also they are engaged in this, basically this is weirdly intimate niche porn, fluffy epilogue, intimacy kink, lots of emotions, pee desperation, squirming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:01:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23762758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CC99trialanderrorgirl/pseuds/CC99trialanderrorgirl
Summary: Bucky, desperately trying not to piss his black skinny jeans for his fiancé, and having a whole lot of thoughts about it during the struggle.Like, can anyone really love anybody this much? (Spoiler alert: the answer is yes.)
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Series: Stucky - Desperately in Love Universe [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1743424
Comments: 32
Kudos: 245





	Not Supposed To (Know Me So Intimately)

**Author's Note:**

> Oh God what have I done? 
> 
> If you want to know more before you read, please check out the A/N the end for more context.

“ _No_.”

Bucky freezes, halfway up from the couch.

Steve shakes his head, a knowing look on his face.

Shit. Fuck. Shit.

They’ve talked about this before. But _now_? Bucky wasn’t expecting Steve to pull this right now, today.

Fuck, he’s had three post-run bottles of water, and that was only _after_ the initial round of fluids he mainlined before his shower. He’s got maybe thirty minutes. An hour, tops.

Shit.

But he’s the one who wanted this, so he sinks back down on the couch, tries not to let the pinch of discomfort show on his face.

Steve lays a hand over his thigh without looking. The bastard is still watching the made-for-TV movie like it’s anything remotely good. Bucky knows it is not worth watching, because he’s been bored for the last 45 minutes, rhythmically clenching muscles out of boredom more than anything else, just enjoying the luxury of having to pee and not having to actually do anything about it immediately. The fact that he’s not in a warzone, he’s in his and Steve’s modest apartment, and there’s a bathroom with a nice clean floors and a huge glass shower and endless running water just 20 feet away.

He can go anytime.

But apparently, not today.

There’s a hand over his abdomen now; it’s only for a second, and then Steve takes it away. There’s no pressure, he just rests it there lightly for a moment. A reminder.

Bucky’s cheeks burn.

Steve smirks.

Bucky _hates_ him.

He’s also, no joke, terrified out of his fucking mind. Yeah, they talked about this. Yes, he asked for it. But the thought still lingers…will Steve still want him after this? Can anyone really love anybody _this_ much?

He looks down at the silver engagement band on his left ring finger. Switches his focus, gazing at the matching gold engagement band on Steve’s.

Fuck, what is he _doing_? He is not the Winter Soldier anymore. There is way too fucking much to lose.

He sets his jaw, prepares to just grin and bear it. Steve will lose interest.

Steve doesn’t lose interest.

Bucky is kind of dying at this point. Worse, he can’t really stop himself from squirming around on the couch anymore, so he knows Steve knows. Fuck, this is humiliating. Not to mention, well, the clock is running the fuck out. Yeah, he’s got the serum and about 70 years worth of Russian brainwashing tactics rattling around inside him.

Ain’t a single one of them going to stop him from pissing when his bladder’s full though. That’s just plain old anatomy.

Fuck, he’s so full now.

It fucking _hurts_.

He can’t move a muscle without feeling the sloshing inside him. But he also can’t stay still without pissing himself. He blinks little pinpricks of tears out of his eyes, surprised and pissed at himself for it.

How did he ever let this happen?

* * *

“What do you like?” Steve had asked.

“Hmm?” Bucky had responded. Steve had had him at a disadvantage, all pliant and blissed out post-orgasm, spread out on their bed, blankets all tangled around his warm body.

Steve had rubbed Bucky’s back, soothing, loving, and asked again. “C’mon, Buck, a secret one. What’s one you’ve never told anybody else?”

“Dunno,” Bucky had replied, because he wasn’t going to tell Steve, his sexy, controlled, together-as-fuck fiancé _that._

Unfortunately, Steve has known Bucky practically his entire life. He knows all his tells – even the sleepy, post-sex ones. He’d pounced like a fucking tiger, taking advantage of Bucky’s weakness.

“Tell meeee,” he’d sing-songed.

Bucky had made a non-committal sound and turned away. He’d like to keep what was left of his dignity, thank you very much.

“Tell me or I’ll tickle you,” Steve had said then, serious as sin.

Fuck, no. Bucky _hated_ being tickled. He’s too fucking sensitive for that shit.

“Fuck off, Steve,” he’d said, no heat to it.

“No way, Barnes,” Steve replied, “I am _not_ letting this go.”

“Just drop it, okay?” Bucky had growled back at him, starting to come out of his haze, getting his hackles up a bit.

“Tell. Me.” Steve had said again.

And Bucky had just exploded. “Fuck, I want you to make me piss myself, okay? I’ve never done it, I’ve seen porn of it, that shit got me coming so fast I thought I was dreaming it! Okay? Fuck, is that what you want to hear? Okay?”

Steve had gone quiet. It lasted so long that Bucky had considered using his many years of murder training to assassinate himself out of this nightmare situation. He’d literally been reaching for a pillow to smother himself with when Steve had spoken.

“Yeah, okay, we can do that.” Steve’s voice had sounded weird.

“Yeah?” Bucky hadn’t been sure how else to respond.

“Yeah,” Steve had said in that same weird, quiet tone.

They’d talked about it once more, the next morning. Steve had casually asked some (very smart) questions about limits over coffee and eggs. Bucky had nearly choked himself to death on a bite of bacon over it. But he’d gotten the words out. Fuck, Steve must have done research. His fiancé was _such_ a _nerd_.

That had kind of always done it for Bucky, though. Steve’s… _Steve_ - _ness_. By the time they’d finished the conversation, Bucky’d had a raging hard on and Steve had offered to suck him off right there while Bucky was innocently trying to do the dishes. He’d ended up so turned on by Steve’s constant solicitousness that he’d just dropped to his knees himself, right there, and blown Steve on the cool white tiles of their little kitchen.

They hadn’t talked about it again.

* * *

Until today…now.

Fuck, Bucky is _literally_ going to piss his pants. Steve is _right t_ _here_. He’s too close, it’s too much, and he knows, he _knows_ , that Steve has just been being nice throughout all of this. There is no way he’s getting anything out of this. Steve is a kinkier motherfucker than most people would guess, but he’s not…he’s not…

It’s just that Bucky is so much _filthier_ than Steve. And he’s so _weird,_ and he’s so messed _up_ , and what if this is all just some trauma-induced freakshow, what if he’s only into this because of some Winter Soldier bullshit, what if he loses it right now and oh shit, oh shit, oh shit—

He gasps.

He doesn’t mean to, but it comes out. His palm is up against his crotch, and every muscle in his body is clenched tight.

He’s afraid to turn and look at Steve.

Hell, he’s afraid to move _at all._

But the sudden, intense wave passes, and even though he can’t take his hand away from his dick without fucking pissing all over himself and their couch (oh fuck, the _couch_ ), he manages to turn his head and slant his eyes sideways to see Steve. 

What he finds blows him away.

Steve’s gaze is fixated on him, flicking back and forth between Bucky’s face and his crotch. His pupils are so dilated that there’s only the faintest ring of blue around the edges. It makes him look sort of demonic, in a really, really, sexy way. And – oh shit, Bucky cannot afford to get distracted right now. His bladder needs all of his attention. He can’t think about Steve’s eyes, or Steve fucking him like this, literally fucking the piss out of him, oh God, oh shit, oh –

There’s a slight wetness against his palm that wasn’t there before. That’s at far as things get before Bucky gets himself back under control, but oh fuck, he just wet his pants a little bit. In front of _Steve_.

Shit, shit, shit.

He gathers his courage and chances a look at Steve.

Steve’s eyes are blown all to hell, his cheeks are stained cherry red, and he’s biting his bottom lip.

What?

There’s another gasp. This time, though, it’s Steve.

“Are – are – are you…did you just…?” Steve can’t seem to finish a sentence. His eyes flick rapidly between Bucky’s face, which he’s sure must be a mess, and his crotch, which is wetter than he’d like.

Fuck, he has to pee - So. Goddamn. Badly.

He shivers, a horrible, full-body thing, and feels himself piss just a tiny bit more, wetting his black skinny jeans. He gets it under control with a desperate grab and a pained moan.

Fuuuuuck.

His hands are shaking.

He can’t hold on much longer. Seriously, he has to get up. But Steve said not to…and something in Bucky always listens to Steve. Plus, honestly? He’s pretty sure he’d piss himself completely the second he stood up anyway.

He feels a stray tear leak out of one eye. Dammit, he doesn’t want to cry. But he’s so desperate, and so freaked out, and so, so full, and Steve is here and he’s so embarrassed he wants to die.

Steve is still looking at him. Bucky realizes he’s closed his eyes. He forces them open, meets Steve's dark and demanding gaze. Steve’s lips part.

“Move your hand,” he says. And it’s unmistakably a command. He uses his Captain America voice and everything. Fuck, Bucky doesn’t want to move his hand. He wants to comply. But…but. If it moves his hand, he’ll piss. He’s sure of it.

“Move. Your. Hand.” Steve says again, and Bucky does. Immediately, everything is a thousand times worse. He’s aware that he’s shaking, badly. Every muscle in his body is squeezed. His bladder feels fucking huge inside him. It’s weird, how much area it seems to be taking up. He has to go so, so badly.

A little more dribbles out, uncaring of how tightly Bucky’s muscles are clamped up. Fuck, his bladder is literally full. Completely. Totally. Every time his kidneys add a little bit more, a little bit comes out, like his body is making room.

Fuck this shit. He’s losing control, here.

He’s going to pee. He’s going to-

“Oh fuck, Steve, I _can’t_ —” He chokes on the words.

“Oh my fucking God,” Steve says, reverent, and Bucky is confused.

He soaks the front of his jeans. But that’s it. By some miracle, he stops. The couch is dry. He’s still (sort of) in control of himself…for the moment.

“Oh my fucking God,” Steve says again, and then, “Bucky, oh my fucking God.”

It’s a weird phrase, coming from Steve. It’s irreverent and kind of an intense, out-of-character way to swear for a guy who grew up Catholic and is supposed to embody good old American values and all that shit.

“You are literally pissing yourself,” Steve says, and Bucky thinks, way to state the obvious, Captain Idiot. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have the energy to spare on ribbing Steve right now. God, he needs to hold himself. He moves his hand back down toward his crotch, but Steve says, “No.”

His voice is authoritative as usual, but tinged with a weird desperation that Bucky hasn’t ever heard from Steve before. It makes him wonder, as embarrassed as he is, if Steve is maybe…getting off on this?

Oh shit, well, he’s about to find out, Bucky thinks, because this thing is going to be over, one way or another, in about three minutes.

He’s shaking and sweating, and there’s piss in his shorts and on his _stupidly_ tight black skinny jeans, and fuck, why does he wear such tight clothes? What the fuck is wrong with him? The band is cutting into his bladder, which is literally so full as to have the sensation of taking up his entire abdomen by now. Fuck, he is never drinking water again. He is never telling Steve anything again. He is – oh no.

He feels it, a weird sort of swelling in his stomach, and realizes.

This is it.

He sobs at the unexpected intensity of it. So many emotions, so many physical sensations at once, and through it all, Steve’s deep, demonic gaze focused squarely, intensely, unwaveringly on him.

Bucky starts to shake apart, sobbing openly now.

“Steve, shit, Steve, I _can’t_ —”

His voice breaks, and that is it.

His bladder is full, and his body gives in without his consent. He’s pissing. All over himself. It soaks his crotch, turning black-dyed denim even darker. It drips down both his legs, soaks his socks. It pools on the couch underneath him. Bucky is helpless to it. Done.

He lost control.

Oh fuck, he lost control.

Bucky’s mind goes blank in panic for a second.

It’s not okay for him to lose control. It’s not _safe._ It…It feels… _good_?

All of a sudden, he just gives into it. He’s not the Winter Soldier anymore. He can put down the metaphorical gun. So he stops fighting, sighs as it happens. He’s pissing himself on the couch in front of Steve.

He doesn’t care.

The relief feels amazing.

No one is dying.

And this is what he wanted. It’s so much better than all the porn he watched of it. The slight humiliation and panic, but in a controlled environment ( _Steve_ ), making it safe and okay. The extreme physical sensations, taking over all higher brain function ( _fuck_ he had to piss). The loss of control, the sensation of trying his hardest only to lose out to the inevitable ( _so_ weirdly satisfying). And, most importantly, the elicit pleasure of doing something _he’s not supposed to do_.

After the Winter Soldier, the simple delight in even a small act of indecorum is so, so _delicious_.

Bucky has always been turned on by defiance. Look who he’s engaged to.

Speaking of… _Steve_.

Sagging with the relief of having emptied himself, Bucky turns his whole head on the couch to look at Steve.

Holy fuck.

Steve is staring back at him, totally gone. His cheeks are flaming, and the thin band of blue left in his eyes is almost totally gone, like some kind of eclipse of sexual arousal. He’s also shaking, which is weird, he usually only does that after he’s –

And then Bucky looks down at Steve’s lap and is amazed at what he finds there. Steve has _come_. Steve _came_. It’s obvious in his light gray joggers. Steve came untouched. From watching him lose it all over himself.

“Oh my fucking God,” Steve says, sounding awed as hell this time. “You…you pissed yourself for me. I can’t…I can’t believe you _did_ _that_.”

Bucky is blissed out on the near orgasmic relief of finally, _finally_ peeing. But he can’t have heard Steve right. He doesn’t _understand_.

“You…you liked that?” The question comes out as a squeak, and he realizes his voice is sort of wrecked from all the mewling and the moaning. Shit, that’s embarrassing.

But Steve…Steve is…reaching forward?

Bucky is so fucking confused.

“Can I…?” Steve asks, and trails off.

“Yeah, yeah, go ahead,” Bucky says in that low, wrecked voice. He doesn’t care, anything Steve wants, just…it’s always gonna be a “yes” for Steve.

Gingerly, like it’s some kind of privilege, Steve touches his fingers to the wet fabric at Bucky’s crotch. It’s colder than it was a few minutes ago, but Bucky’s still too blissed out to feel uncomfortable in his wet jeans, yet.

“Oh fuck,” Steve says, and shudders all over again, like he’s having some kind of aftershock.

He looks for a moment like he’s about to slide to his knees; Bucky can’t breathe.

What the fuck is _happening_?

“Oh my God, Buck, you looked so fucking hot, giving it up for me like that. Losing it so completely. Oh, God,” Steve can’t stop babbling.

“Was that…” Bucky trails off, unsure. “Good for you?”

“Was that _good_ for me? Good?!” Steve seems slightly hysterical. Bucky doesn’t really understand. He just pissed himself. In his clothes. All over their couch. After struggling for like, a good hour of trying and failing to hold it in. He knows what he got out of it, even though he’s a little fuzzy on, well, everything at the moment. But he doesn’t quite get the appeal from Steve’s side.

“So…good?” Bucky repeats, because he likes to check. He always tries hard to satisfy his partners, and Steve? Steve is the best he’s ever had, will ever have.

“Oh my fucking God, yes,” Steve says, sounding desperate. “Buck, I swear to God. Seeing you like that? The shaking, and the…the moaning, and the tears and the tension and the struggle and then watching you _lose_ _it_ like that? Fuck.”

Bucky ducks his head, embarrassed. He knows he was…a lot.

“Wait,” Steve says suddenly, eyes sharp as he turns his whole torso to face Bucky. He puts a hand on Bucky’s knee, carefully picking a neutral spot that stayed fairly dry. “Did _you_ like it?”

“Yeah,” Bucky says, burning.

“Because if you didn’t…that would be okay. You don’t have to like it just for me,” Steve says, all serious.

“What?” Bucky says. He can’t track this conversation anymore, and he’s starting to get frustrated.

Steve looks at him, concerned. “I’m sorry,” he says, “was I…too much?”

“What the fuck?!” Bucky yells, gaze on the ceiling because he can’t, he can’t fucking _look_ at Steve right now. “I just struggled and cried and pissed my goddamn jeans on our couch and you’re asking me if _you_ were too much? What. The. Fuck. Steve.”

“I liked seeing that, Bucky,” Steve says quietly, looking down. “I liked seeing you. I feel…a little bad about that. This was supposed to be for you, but I…God, I’ve wanted to see you lose control like that for _years_.”

Bucky snaps his head up, shocked.

“Well, okay, maybe I didn’t imagine it exactly like that,” Steve admits, “but _fuck_ , Bucky, you have to know how hot that was for me.”

“R-really?” Bucky asks, still unsure.

“Yeah,” Steve says, eyes shining. “I’m sorry I came in my pants. I was going to…I had this whole plan. I was going to clean you up, shower with you, make sure you came down okay, then fuck you nice and hard in the shower.” He looks down, almost like he’s the one ashamed.

“Steve,” Bucky says, and fuck, he’s wet all over with his own piss. This part of it is definitely less fun. They need to do some serious laundry, _STAT_. But he presses on, because no way is he letting Steve think he did something wrong here.

“I…I am embarrassed.” There. He said it. His therapist says it’s important to be honest about his feelings with his loved ones, and he’s been doing really, really well. But like, this? Talking about piss with your fiancé? Master class. He’s doing his best, goddamnit.

“Oh.” Steve says. “Because of…?” He trails off.

“Because I just fucking lost it over pissing myself on the couch, and I _wanted_ to, even though I’m a grown ass man?”

“Oh.” Steve says again. “I just thought it was hot.”

“Oh.” Bucky says, his turn to be surprised. “You really…you weren’t faking it? For my feelings?”

“Buck,” Steve says, deadly serious now, “there is a disgusting amount of come drying in my boxers right now. I have the serum. But even I can’t _fake an orgasm_ just to _spare your feelings_.”

“Oh. Right,” Bucky says. “Sorry, I felt insecure about it. I…really fucking liked that.”

“I did, too,” Steve says. “To be clear, I really like our regular stuff, too. But…” he hesitates. “If you ever want to do that again? I’d honestly love to.”

Bucky takes a deep breath. “Maybe next time you could…feed me the water? Like, force it a little bit?”

Steve’s eyes go so dark at that that Bucky can’t figure out how he ever, ever thought Steve Rogers was anything less than a complete fucking sadist with a heart of gold.

He presses on, gets the rest out in a rush. “You could also, maybe, fuck me? When I’m, you know?” Bucky can’t bring himself to say, _next time, you are cordially invited to literally fuck the piss out of my body_ out loud. Steve gets the point, though. Captain America is clever like that. He leans in.

“Gonna fill you up so good babe,” Steve whispers in Bucky’s ear, low and dirty. “Get you so full you’ll be screaming by the time it’s over.”

Bucky squirms. He isn’t sure if Steve is talking about his bladder or his ass. Either way…he fucking _wants_ it.

Steve stands up. “Get up, Barnes,” he says in his Captain America voice. Bucky staggers to his feet. Fuck, there is piss everywhere. He has literally never peed so much in his life. God, that hurt and felt amazing at the same time.

“Go stand in the shower. Wait for me. Don’t undress and don’t turn the water on.”

Bucky goes.

He feels weird, just standing there. He can hear Steve cleaning up a bit out in the living room. He would offer to help, but Steve said to stay here. Also, Bucky isn’t stupid. He knows he’s in a weird floaty space right now, and that Steve is taking care of him on purpose.

Aftercare.

Duh.

He remembers when he didn’t know what that was, back when he was the Winter Soldier, a constant victim of abuse and torture. He’s suddenly so goddamned glad to be standing here in piss-soaked skinny jeans with a silver ring on his finger.

He’s still floating on that thought when Steve comes in. He strips himself bare with military efficiency. He takes a quick detour to the sink to clean his own crotch with a dampened washcloth, then steps in front of Bucky. He smirks, once, then sinks to his knees.

Bucky can’t breathe.

Steve mouths at the dampened fabric, sucking some of the liquid out of it. It should be fucking disgusting. It’s not. Or maybe Bucky and Steve are just fucking disgusting. He doesn’t care.

He’s getting hard.

He kind of has to pee again.

He can’t look away from Steve.

Steve, who is unzipping him, carefully taking him out, and – holy shit – swallowing him down in one go. Bucky blindly braces himself against the shower wall with his metal arm, and the fingers of his free hand wind their way into Steve’s hair.

“Steve, Steve, Steve,” he chants, and Steve just sucks harder, slurps louder, and when he looks up at Bucky with those crazy blue-black eyes, that’s it, he’s _done_.

Bucky comes harder than he ever has in his _life,_ the stimulation of the past few hours all adding up to something insane.

He and Steve have done a lot of shit. But nothing quite this…intimate? It’s strange to say that, but it’s true. It is. Intimate.

Steve swallows him down and looks up. There’s a weird glint in his eyes. Bucky isn’t sure…

“Steve,” he says, quietly, because he doesn’t want his voice to echo around them on the tiles. “I kind of have to…again…”

He trails off.

“Oh?” Steve asks, eyes bright.

“Yeah,” Bucky says.

Wordlessly, Steve picks up his free hand and presses it flat against Bucky’s abdomen. He presses _hard._ Like, super-strength hard.

So it’s not actually a conscious choice, that Bucky starts to pee. Steve is literally pressing it out of him. And…oh shit, he’s pissing on Steve’s face. Oh God, that should not be hot. That should not be…Steve is getting off on it. His come-covered hand drops from Bucky’s dick and he’s striping his own cock hard and rough.

He calls out for Bucky when he goes over the edge.

Bucky catches him, both hands cradling Steve’s head.

Steve looks up, sheepishly. “Sorry,” he says, “I couldn’t resist. Not sure I want to do that often, but…I kind of liked it. Being marked by you, that is.”

“Yeah,” Bucky deadpans, “I can see that.”

He pulls Steve up to him, kisses him thoroughly, and then starts the shower.

“You’re a crazy bastard,” he says, and presses against Steve under the spray.

“Yeah, look who’s talkin’,” Steve sasses, and his tone is so filled with love that Bucky just can’t even deal with it.

“Marry me,” he says, sudden and insane, but like, look at their day today. This is easily the least insane thing that’s been said.

“I already asked you,” Steve says, confused and clearly concerned.

“I mean soon. Right away. This weekend,” Bucky says.

Steve looks him square in the eyes under the spay and says, “Yes.”

* * *

Epilogue-

It’s a beautiful ceremony. Natasha plans the whole thing. Tony pays for most of it, because he says it’s a matter of principle - he can’t be expected to sit there and eat shitty hors d'oeuvres or drink cheap champagne. But Steve and Bucky know the truth. Tony likes them and wants them to have a good time.

They do. All the Avengers are there in attendance. Steve finally gets to visit Peggy a few days beforehand and tells her that he’s getting married, but he doesn’t say to whom. Of course, she can’t attend the ceremony, but Tony rigs some kind of satellite feed so she is able to watch. During the reception, Steve is able to slip away to a private corner and tell her over the feed, low and happy, “I am, now. Getting to live my life, I mean. And I’m happy to know you’ve lived yours, too, Peggy. I love you. Not in the same way I thought I did, but I do.”

Bucky comes up behind him and simply says, “Thank you.”

She smiles at them, winks and says, lucid as anything, “ _I knew it_.”

Both Bucky and Steve burst out laughing. It’s taken them an insanely long road to get here, but there are here now. They’ve always been it for each other. And now they can be insane together, forever. As they’re leaving, Steve steals two bottles of champagne. Bucky looks at him questioningly.

"Could come in handy," Steve says meaningfully, and Bucky bursts out laughing.

"Yeah, okay," he says, smirking.

The End.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Okay, so in terms of more descriptive tags, if you want to know stuff beforehand to see if this is you cup of tea: Like, basically, this is a story where Bucky pees his pants in front of Steve. Steve also comes in his pants. Bucky's definitely in some sort of subspace for a good portion of it, and there's a little bit of a pre-existing, light d/s dynamic between them. Everything is consensual, and they've discussed the situation beforehand, but Bucky is still somewhat surprised by exactly when Steve decides to initiate things. Steve briefly sucks at Bucky's soaked jeans, and he does give him a blowjob right after, and there's a short golden shower scene that Steve, who is the one receiving, initiates himself - in case any of that squicks you or anything. Also, Bucky swears a lot, and he has, like, a lot of feelings. So there's a great deal of his internal monologue, and one of the things he's fixated on is whether he's weird or whether Steve will see him differently after (spoiler alert: he's weird in a good way, and Steve doesn't). There's also a good amount of intimacy and "fuck you's" to Bucky's past. It's meant to be a healing, intimate thing shared between two fiancees who are really, really in love. Also like, things have been hard lately, and writing this brought me some fun and joy, so I hope it does to you, too!
> 
> Edit: This work now has a sequel, here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24158524


End file.
